Today is my friend F’s 50th birthday, or as she has decided to name it her ‘Second 40th’. Whichever one it is, I’m happy that I’ve known her for many of those years. The testament to our friendship is that even when we haven’t been in touch for ages as soon as we make contact we still feel connected and are able to pick up where we left off as if we’d only seen each other days before. We have a comfort with each other that we know isn’t easy to find, but we also understand exists because we value each other and know that maintaining good friendships takes work.
When F learned about my illness, she was devastated. She immediately wanted to know what she could do to help me. Then she rethought her question and said she shouldn’t be asking she should just be showing up at my home to do what I might need done. She said that as my friend that’s what anyone should do. Thankfully, I have others in my life that believe the same thing she does.
This summer F lost her mother. She was a lovely woman. She often invited me to their home for dinner where she regaled us with tales of her youth, gave us sage advice, and served wonderful pies. I wasn’t able to attend the funeral, but I was able to console F in conversation. We both cried for the loss of her mother, and were able to find comfort in shared memories. During that conversation, even under such sad circumstances, we were happy, to be together because of our friendship.
I’m one of a handful of people invited to celebrate F’s ‘Second 40th’ this coming Saturday. I’ve been resting this week with the hope that my pain will be manageable enough so I’ll at least be able to show up to the restaurant to give her a hug. If I can’t make it, I know she’ll understand. I feel blessed that F is my friend and I am happy to be part of this celebration of her life.
TLC – What About Your Friends